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A Story of Princess Diana in the Body of a Man


In this part of town it’s acceptable to eat with your hands. Now two blocks from this same location it is a direct assault to generations of royalty. You see, anything you do is a form of interaction whether you are talking to a person, picking up a fork, driving a car, combing your hair, sitting on a chair, reading a book, walking your dog, even using the toilet.”

She lowered the newspaper and stared directly at Hampton.

“For instance, how do you read a book?” She lowered the newspaper completely placing it on the table.

“That depends on the type of book,” Hampton was

curious, the brows of his eyes taking on a different slant.

“How about a cookbook?” She placed her hand over the other and looked at Hampton.

Hampton stopped to think for a while.

“Well, I would sit down at a table and open up the page I would like to read, and probably take some notes.”

“Could you read it in bed?” She livened up.

Hampton stopped to think for a brief second before replying, “ Yep, and probably propped up in a

sitting position.”

“Good, I know you are trying to avoid the inevitable,”

she probes further.

“Give me an honest answer. Is it possible to sleep dreaming of how tasty the food recipe would be after you cook it?”

“I guess,” Hampton could tell that Tammy was up to something.

“Well, that is good enough for me.” She straightened up her back on the chair like a teacher.

“When you sleep with a book in your hand then you are not well mannered. Sleeping with a book shows you are not focused on what you are doing in an organized way. When you read a book, you read with the intent of gaining insight. When you have gained that insight, you close the book and begin later, ensuring that you get the most out of the book. The exceptions to the rules are books written to make you sleep.”

“Well then you said it yourself, what makes me sleep may be what keeps you awake with a pen and a notepad. I am humbled by this revelation, but what has this got to do with anything?”

“Well, if you want to get the most out of life, you have to plan every step you take like a perfect date.”

She stopped and then started counting on her fingers using the index finger of his right hand.

“That includes when you eat, how you eat, when you talk, how you talk, when you sleep, how you sleep, when you have sex, and how you have sex…”

“Would that not also go for who you have sex with?”

Hampton interrupted.

“Who you have sex with… of course, who you have sex with?” she exhaled a long breath. “That becomes an issue because if you are known to have sex excessively or change partners as you see fit, then at your highest pedestal what people see is sexual and not what you are really made of. This is why people get married, stay married and keep it in the family.”

“All you are trying to tell me is there is a dignified way of doing things and an undignified way of doing things.” Hampton continued.

“Yes, there is.” Tammy smiled with her eyes opened a little wider.

“Well let me ask you a question Tammy, where do you draw the line? For example, how dignified can you be when you use the restroom, and it stinks?”

“You can be dignified in that area because it’s all

about the timing. Use the restroom early in the

morning or late at night when everyone is asleep, or better still always be discreet. And that stinking part has to do with what you eat, Hamp.”

“Well there, Tammy, don’t you think that will make you two-faced?” Hampton sat up in his chair ready to start a dialogue.

He looked into Tammy’s eyes and spoke very softly like he was talking to a fond sister.

“Sometimes the things you do that make you look royal are actually the things that take away the simplest pleasures of life; like walking the beach or eating with the dirtiest stranger on earth and having a good time at it.”

“And I believe the kind of company you keep determines the kind of choices you make, great or small. Choose one.” Tammy looked at Hampton, batting her big eyes at him.

Hampton stared at Tammy, the silence between them holding within it a bond of many years.

“Talking from experience,” Hampton held Tammy’s hands in his. “The greatest gifts on earth are found in unusual places, places where many people reject as unfit for their taste. You start living when you appreciate the world many have learned to forget, and there can be great choices made with dignified people.”

Hampton stood up extending his hands, “Care for

a walk? I’d love to show you something.”